Learning to Walk
Over the past month, I have been asked one question over and over again. It is not a question about Jewish law or Jewish history. It is not a question about the Torah or the Talmud. Instead, the question is… “Is Yonah walking yet?” Interestingly, Esther’s and my answer to this simple question has generated discussions in our families that do indeed feel like Talmudic analysis. Our answer over these last few weeks is, “not yet.” Yonah walks well with assistance and can even take some steps on his own. But, when he really wants to get somewhere fast, his preferred mode of transportation is still crawling. So, we conclude, Yonah is almost but not yet walking. For some reason, our families do not appreciate our logic and tell us that our definition of “walking” is too strict.
Soon enough, Yonah will be fully mobile. (Then, I am told, we will wish he was still crawling!)
Meanwhile, we love this stage of growth and development. It truly makes the words of our siddur resonate with me: “oseh g’dolot ad ein heiker… v’lo natan lamot ragleinu–God performs marvels beyond understanding… and does not allow our steps to falter.”
Watching Yonah learn to walk, I am reminded of a parable told by the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Hasidism (known by his acronym as the BeSHT). Speaking to a disciple about the relationship between God and humans, the BeSHT asked: “Have you ever observed a father teach his infant son to walk? He waits until the child can stand upright. Then, placing himself next to the child, he extends his hands and calls the child to come. The child is apprehensive at first, but seeing the father so close, has the courage to take the first step.
“What does the father do? He moves back a bit and calls the child again. With the father still close, the child tries for two steps. And so it goes. As the child becomes more capable, the father continues to lengthen the distance between them. “From the child’s perspective, this is unfair. The greater effort he makes, the farther away his father moves. But,” says the BeSHT, “the child and father have two distinct goals. The child’s goal is to reach the father; the father’s goal is to teach the child how to walk. If the father did not back up, if he did not give the child room and even allow him to fall, he would slow the child’s progress.
“This,” the BeSHT concluded to his disciple, “is true for us as well. Our goal is to reach God. God’s goal, however, is for us to grow in spirit.”
There are many ways to understand the BeSHT’s parable. I like to read it as a message about living a life of mitzvot. As Conservative Jews, we are charged with shaping our lives around the principles of halakha. From the word “lalekhet, to walk,” halakha is our walk way of Jewish living.
Mitzvot such as Shabbat, kashrut, study, and acts of hesed (to name a few) form this well-worn path. For some of us, incorporating these mitzvot into our lives is not easy. We feel unsteady on our feet or are afraid of falling. But, just as a child who walks knows greater freedom than the one who crawls, so too does the halakhic observer enjoy the freedom to reach spiritual heights unknown to the nonobserver. As in learning to walk, courage and practice are the keys to negotiating the path of halakha.
This month of Elul, the period leading up to the High Holy Days, is a time of introspection and self examination. So, as we approach a new year, let us ask ourselves, “are we walking yet?” Consider for yourself: Am I living my life in accordance with the laws, traditions and values of our people? Am I crawling? Walking with some help? (True, the answer might depend on our definition of “walking”- and that is a discussion I would love for us to have.) Whether we see ourselves as crawling or “not yet” walking, I pray that this will be a new year of spiritual growth. By learning to walk the path of halakha, may we come to feel ourselves reaching for God and may we feel’s God’s outstretched arms reaching for us.
