A Piece of My Journey
For the past year I have been involved in an organization called the Spirituality Institute. Twenty-eight cantors from around the country-Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist–have made a two year commitment to come together two times a year for five day retreats where we study and sing, participate in Torah-yoga (!), work on a mindfulness practice, and experience daily t’fillot. We spend a considerable amount of time in silence to focus our thoughts, and meet in small groups at the end of each day to process the experiences. Outside the retreats, we continue the work we have begun with a weekly hevruta (study partner). For me, this has been a very powerful and life changing experience.
The Spirituality Institute is not simply about learning great new songs to teach (though I do have some good ones that over time I will share), or methods of soul training. We are learning a way of life, a way of thinking, a way of being. Much of this is new to me. But I was drawn to the Spirituality Institute because its message spoke to my soul. And what I have found is an affirmation of what I have felt for a long time, but have been unable to articulate. Some of you may be thinking, “She’s goneover the edge.” Believe me when I tell you that many of the cantors in this program felt some aspect of skepticism in the beginning. We have all struggled to put our reservations, our judgments and our egos aside. We’ve all worked hard to open our hearts to experiences that are new and feel “odd.” As a result, even the most straight-laced in the bunch have found an amazing new dimensionand depth to our own t’fillah, to our congregational worship and to our interactions with our congregants. Personally, I have begun to give voice to the spirit inside me-the spirit that God breathes into me each day. I feel blessed to be in this program and feel ready to begin sharing some of my discoveries with you.
Tuesday Night Is Healing Night
Every weekday amidah has a paragraph devoted to healing: “Heal us, O Lord, and we shall be healed; save us and we shall be saved. Blessed are You, O Lord, who healest the sick among Your people Israel.” Asking for healing is an important part of our prayers. And so on Tuesday evenings, during the daily minyan (5:45 p.m.), we have been taking a few moments to focus on our own personal healing, be it physical, mental or spiritual. We carve out a space in our hectic lives to ask God to help us heal. Iusually share a poem, a prayer, a chant or inspirational words and then sing a prayer for healing. At the end of the prayer we let the silence sink in as stated in Psalm 65:2, “dumi’yah t’hillah – silence is praise.” By sitting in silence together, we provide strength and comfort for one another and affirm that we are not alone. Some of us may find it easy to pray for others who are ill – a loved one, friend, family member. Tuesday nights offer a chance to heal the wounds of our own souls.
Iyun T’fillah – Inside the Prayers
The daily morning prayers, known as Birkhot Hashahar and P’sukei D’zimrah, are meant to bea warm-up to the “real stuff.” They are filled with wonderful images of God’s miracles and their manifestation in our own bodies. In my search for meaningful prayer, I stumbled upon these parts of the service. I’ve found that small phrases in the prayers have touched me and connected me to God on a regular basis. Through singing and chanting, directed kavanah (intention), silence, and focusing on phrases, we can not only feel “warmed-up” but our spirits can soar. Beginning Nov. 15, at 9:45 a.m., I invite anyone who wishes to join me as we go “Insidethe Prayers.” Once a month we’ll come together and, through many different avenues, we’ll fill our souls with these morning prayers.
Through the Spirituality Institute I am continuing a journey that I began over 20 years ago when I first arrived at Beth El. I look forward to sharing with you as my journey unfolds. In the Torah we read, “Lekh L’kha – go forth;” go forth to find your authentic self, to learn who you are meant to be. It is my hope, that through the journeys in our lives, we will all discover who we are truly meant to be.
B’shalom
